My Last Post

This is my last blog post of the year. I may continue next year or may not. For this post, I would like to highlights the best parts of my English 1080 experience.

My favourite component of John’s course was the blogging activities. I thoroughly enjoyed writing every single blog entry. It allowed me to get creative, and it was always fun taking a break from the usual essay writing. I also enjoyed the blog posts because they allowed me to take on a different persona. I felt as if I were a famous writer publishing under a pen name.   In case you are not aware I am not the real Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, sorry for any misunderstandings.  

Taking this course has left me with a new view on literature. John’s way of teaching rejuvenated my interest in English. I learned that stories can have several different meanings. Prior to my enrollment in the course, I had always believed that every piece of literature would hold only one meaning but now my opinion has changed. I have learned that literature can be interpreted in an infinite number of ways. An example of this would be Homer’s “The Odyssey”. Although this piece is over 1000 years old, people still continue to find new interpretations for it.     

Finally, I would like to mention my favourite poem from the course. This poem is my favourite because it left me in a state of uncertainty. When we read the poem "My Papa's Waltz" the majority of the class believed it was about an abusive father but I did not believe that. I believed the poem was about a father and son having fun around the house. It was only when John mentioned that the message of the poem is interpreted differently by people based on their own experience with their father that I began to question my interpretation of literature. I began to think that maybe some of the messages I took away from stories and poems in the past may have been dictated by my personal experiences in life…or maybe not.

Thank for readings all my blog posts this year. I enjoyed having you here and I hope you enjoyed visiting.   

  

How to manage a convenient store

Managing a convenient store can be hard work. It requires patience and investment but at the end of the day it all pays off. Having a well maintained convenient store ensures maximum customer satisfaction and leads to increase in customers and profits. In this guide I will take you through the many steps which will allow you to maintain your convenient store to ensure maximum safety, income, and customer satisfaction.

Selling the right products

In order for a business to attract customers it must sell products which meet the customers’ needs. No customer wishes buy product which are expired. So, you must keep your products up to date and expired products must be thrown out in order to avoid any law suits. This will ensure maximum customer satisfaction and allow you to save money. Customers also wish for a variety of products. Do not just sell one product or minimize the amount of products you have. Always keep a variety so you attract customers of all choices.

Keeping the store secure

A convenient is the heart and soul of the community and because of this it will likely be targeted by robbers. In order to ensure that the profit made by the store stays in the store you must install a security system. The security system must be able to alert the authorities of any danger. Most security systems adopted by modern convenient stores are a firearm. These firearms range from shotguns to pistols to bazookas. Although this widely used method is very cheap and reliable there are also other ways in which you can assure maximum security for your store. If you are not licensed to carry a firearm you may wish to hire a security guard to protect the store from robbers. Another method to prevent store robbery is to set up an alarm system which will alert police in case of a robbery. This method is silent but the police response may not be quick enough and the robber may escape.

Keeping the store in tip top shape

The best way to attract more customers to your convenient store is to keep it neat and tidy. Make sure all items are organized well so that customers can find them easily. Recent studies have shown that customers like their stores to be hygienic so keeping your aisles, floors, and restrooms clean this will appeal to the customers and keep them coming back to your store.

Visually appealing to the customer

Customers are attracted to places which they find visually appealing. Try to paint your convenient store to make it look more visually appealing to the customer. Put up bright signs to attract the customers’ attention. Hire a mascot for your store to get more children appeal. Send out flyers in the weekly newspaper to attract customers to your store. Pick a busy and easily accessible location so customers feel convenient to go there.

Offering good customer service

Customers respond well to kind gesture.  Always greet the customer with a smile on your face and try to be nice to the customer and remember the number one rule of customer service; the customer is always right. If the customer says something is on sale do not argue with the customer instead check for yourself and show them that the item is not on sale. If the customer demands a refund kindly tell them of your return policy and offer them a refund if applicable. Maintain a smile throughout your dealings with the customer and end your dealings by always saying “thank you” & “come again”.

Remember these tips for when you open your own convenient store and I guarantee you soon you too will the owner of a successful convenient store such as the Kwik-E-Mart. 

Meme Week

3 Quotes

“War. War never changes” – Narrator from Fallout series

Since the beginning of time humans have been waging wars on one another. The reason behind all wars has always been resources and/or territory. The Romans and Spaniards formed some of the most powerful empires in history through their wars to gather wealth and territory. Hitler was able to use war to bring Germany out of the greatest depression in history of mankind. Even in our modern times wars are waged in the name of justice but the true intentions are later revealed to be resources such as petroleum and even sometimes to control a certain territory. This is my favorite quote because it conveys the truth about war. War has always been the same since the start of time and always will be the same.

 “Ideas don’t determine who’s right. Power determines who’s right. And I have the power. So I’m right” 

– Jonathan Irons

The world has always been ruled by the powerful, the 1%. People with wealth and power have always been on top controlling those under them. They have been the ones who have decided what is right and what is wrong; they have decided how society should be run only because they are more powerful than everyone else. It is not the talented and intellectual people who guide society but rather kings and queens whose families are rich and powerful. This quote is one of my favorite because it is very realistic. Even to this day our communities and countries are not ruled by the public, it is ruled by those who hold power. 

“History is written by the victors.” – Winston Churchill

Through human history there have been countless wars which produced both winners and losers; good guys and bad guys. It is often those win are considered the good guys and those who lose are the bad guys. The bad guys would be used as examples for future generations and be condemned till the end of time. This is not the true reality; in reality there is no true good guy or bad guy everyone is driven by their own motives and those who agree with a group’s ideology side with them. The reality of a bad guy is only imposed by the winners or victors of wars to further establish their power. I chose this quote because it applied to humans in the past and continues to do so in the present. When the Russian revolution occurred and communism started to take hold of Russia the past was no longer the past and it was changed by the victors of the revolution. 

The American Dream

I had always heard from my uncles stories of successful Bangal’s in America. Bengal’s who owned chains of convenient stores and drove taxis. It was my pursuit for a better life that led me to America.

  

I had just stepped out of the plane; the fresh airport smell hit me like a gust of wind. It smelled different…different than the raw sewage stench I had grown to love in India. Maybe coming to America wasn’t such a good idea.

I made my way through the boarding bridge and went directly to customs. I stood in line for what seemed like an eternity, but when I looked at my watch only to realize five minutes had passed.

The man in front of me finished his verification and I stood in line until they called “next”. I stepped up to the customs officer and presented my passport. The woman opened my passport, looked at me, and said “Apu Nahasanamama?”, “It’s Nahasapeemapetilon” I said back. Immediately the woman reached for her radio, and said “code 911”, next thing I knew I was surrounded by the security.

I was escorted by security to a secluded room. After extensive questioning, background checks, and full body cavity searches, I was allowed to leave the airport.

I stepped out the main gates of the airport and looked at my watch. I was already an hour late for my first shift at the Kwik E-Mart. I thought to myself that I would surely get fired for my incompetence. Without wasting another minute, I called a cab and headed for the Kwik E-Mart. The whole cab ride I looked at the cab driver with envy as he was living the dream life, the life I wished to lead.

Once the cab arrived at the Kwik E-Mart, I reached for my wallet but could not find it so I opened the cab door and started to run towards the Kwik E-Mart. As I approached the automated door, it opened and I ran inside. I was surprised with the barrel of a pistol pointed at my chest and my cousin Sanjay was behind the register with his hands in the air. Without spending a moment, the man told me to get on the ground. I had no desire to get shot so I did as he said.

I lay on the ground with my head down; my life flashed before my eyes and I realized all the opportunities I missed in life.

I looked up to see what the robber was doing and before I knew it, the door made the familiar “ding ding”. I looked over and there stood the cab driver with a shotgun. “Alright this is the last time you punks get away without paying me!” said the cab driver and then boom! Next thing I knew the robber was on the ground grabbing his groin. I stood up and thanked the taxi driver and explained to him all that happened. The taxi driver then said “so you didn’t call the police yet?”, “No” said Sanjay from behind the register. The taxi driver then looked at me in silence, raised his gun, and said “give me everything from the cash register”. With the gun pointed at my face, I realized America was not as glorious as the stories made it out to be.  

Letter to Doc Brown

20 Evergreen Terrace

Springfield, FL 90210

October 24^th, 2014

Mr. Emmett Brown

President, Mad Scientists Incorporated

1 Future Street

Hill Valley, CA

Dear Mr. Brown:

I am the man who bought the Delorean from Back to the Future at last week’s auction. I am writing this letter to inform you that the flux capacitor for the vehicle is missing. I received the vehicle without the flux capacitor, and I demand a replacement.

If I do not have the flux capacitor, I will not be able to time travel. My main reason for purchasing this vehicle was to go back in time and publish Microsoft Windows before Bill Gates so that I, Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, could become the richest person in the world. Without the flux capacitor the vehicle is not able to serve its purpose, and I demand either a new flux capacitor or reimbursement.

I have always been a loyal customer to Mad Scientists Incorporated. Last year I purchased the hover boards and was very pleased with your product and service. I am interested in purchasing the x-ray glasses in future, and I hope to hear from you about replacement of my flux capacitor.

Sincerely,

Supreme Leader of North Korea Found in USA

Earlier today the CIA apprehended a man impersonating as The President of the United States. The man looked identical to Barack Obama which may have allowed him to get past all security measures in the White House. The man carried on his act for three hours until the secret service started to become suspicious. Soon after the man was apprehended and identified as none other than Kim Jong Un.

The secret service revealed that the man was very convincing in his portrayal as Barack Obama and had everyone fooled from Obama’s facial features to his style of speech. The secret service started to become suspicious of the president when he requested to see America’s defenses against a North Korean invasion. The President’s request was rejected by vice president Joe Biden who believed that there were far more pressing matters at hand than a silly North Korean invasion. It was at this point the President became furious and called Joe Biden “A western capitalist pig”, and spit on his face. Biden retaliated by slapping the president and to his surprise saw that his hand had suddenly become darker and the president’s face suddenly became brighter. Joe Biden called the secret service immediately to restrain the President.  

After identifying him as an imposter, the secret service quickly restrained him, and it was revealed that through the use of high quality make up Un was able to impersonate Obama accurately. Un supposedly hired the same makeup artist from Tropic Thunder, a movie which won an Oscar for exceptional makeup, so he could look as similar to Obama as possible. He also took vocal lessons so that he could impersonate Obama’s vocal style exactly.

Robert Downey (right) was unrecognisable on Tropic Thunder (left) due to the makeup

After several hours of questioning Kim Jong Un revealed Barack Obama’s location. The President was found in the Presidential bathroom nude and tied up. He was unharmed and revealed that he was knocked out when he entered the bathroom. Reports surfaced last week that the North Korean leader has not made any public appearances for more than a month leading to speculation that he is either seriously sick or there is a coupe but the reality is he has been in USA all along. As of this afternoon Kim Jong Un is being transferred to a high security prison in the middle of the desert. The President hopes to reach a deal with North Korea for the safe return of Kim Jong Un.